The North Face Endurance Challenge is a mere 2 weeks away. This weekend will be the last for good miles of running followed by cycling. Changing up my training by adding cycling has been incredible for hill climbing but difficult to evaluate for the overall pace due to some tightening up of hip rotators and hip flexors in response to all the cycling use they are getting. I have so much anticipation for this race mixed in with dread.
The first traumatic knee injury was so overwhelming and crushed my spirit. Because I present as someone who just gets up and dusts off to keep running, I don't think many get how deep the fall history has hurt. The setbacks in pace, another DNF, feelings of inferiority and clumsiness, and the loss of success are what I ruminate on after each fall. Part of me sees someone who perseveres and in the low moments, another part pushes that aside and sees failure.
As I run today, I hope to focus on climbing hard, feeling positive, and really enjoying the love of running with my dogs. Recent training has brought forth a much stronger runner on fewer miles. I believe it will be enough for me to do well. Yet that fear of falling is heavy in my heart. Which I recognize as insanity as it hasn't happened for several months and this different runner seems to have finally resolved this issue.
So, we set out on a journey today. A journey to understand where I am at in training while concurrently strengthening my belief in myself and my body.
